The Dirty Truth About Facebook Event Invites

Facebook - We Want You!You sit down at the computer to check your Facebook profile.  “John XXXX invited you to the event25 is the new 21‘ “.  You realize that you haven’t seen or spoken to John in over 7 years.  What if you accept his invite?  What if you show up at his apartment for the party?  Things may get weird.  After a strange “how have you been” intro, there is an inevitable awkward silence.  As a result, you consume excessive amounts of alcohol with the hope of it making things less awkward.  Unfortunately, your strategy results in a sloppy drunk night that leaves you half-naked on a futon, soaked in your own urine.  That is precisely why we follow the “Facebook Event Practices and Procedures” to deter this scenario from ever taking place.

Event practices and procedures are well-documented over years of Facebook-stalking.  We caution you to follow them religiously so you can avoid an “awkward invite” situation.

Event Practices and Procedures

  1. Never be the first to respond to an invitation, unless you are hosting the event.  It draws too much attention and your invite response may trigger an unwelcomed interaction with the event host.
  2. People who cannot attend the event will feel an inexplicable burden to post their excuse to the event wall (i.e. out of town, plans with the parents, washing my hair…), and always accompany their excuse with “wish I could be there”, “sounds like so much fun” or “let’s make plans soon!”
  3. More than 50% of invited guests will never respond.  It is an ancient Facebook mystery how these individuals manage to disregard the explicit “Notifications” icon containing a highlighted number of unopened alerts that clearly is a tool for measuring Facebook popularity.
  4. When responding to invites, “maybe” means “not attending”.
  5. “Attending” means “maybe”.
  6. Non-confrontational recipients often respond “maybe” to avoid the cumbersome wall post justifying their absence (see #2)
  7. Choosing the “Remove from My Events” option is a perfectly acceptable practice.  If confronted, it will appear that you never received an invite to the event.
  8. Remember the 90/10 rule of invites – 90% of Facebook event invites come from the same 10% of your friends.  These individuals traditionally fall into one of the following categories: band member or manager, college student night club promoter, or “everything deserves a Facebook invite” person.  Acceptable responses include:
    1. Blocking all invitations from that individual
    2. Mark invites as spam to further aggravate the sender and prevent them from posting additional events
    3. Posting X-rated links on the event wall and explain you were “hacked”

AntiquingIndividual responses to Facebook event invites will vary from subject to subject.  Having a firm understanding of the aforementioned guidelines will safeguard you from potentially awkward invite experiences.  Lastly, if you come across a perilous event invite situation, remember the golden rule of Facebook: “Don’t pretend, just de-friend!”  Get comfortable with de-friending people.  You can never be too safe trying to protect yourself from awkward invites.  Situations can get weird rather quickly and in a flash you could be drunk dialing, getting antiqued, or even the dreaded Chiefing.

We hope you appreciate our valuable, image-saving, Facebook insights.  Please be sure to check back for more life-saving resources, breaking news, and a little bit of custom decorated apparel expertise mixed in.

About Downtown Printwear

Downtown Custom Printwear specializes in screen-printing, embroidery, large format printing, vinyl graphics, and graphic design. All work is completed in-house, allowing for the most competitive pricing the industry can offer. You’ll always have the opportunity to speak with one of our staff experts who will help you with your order — something you can’t get with those web-based companies. View all posts by Downtown Printwear

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